What would you do...?

Read this article from today's BBC News...


What would YOU do?

Living with Reactive Attachment Disorder

"In order to understand what an unattached child feels, one must understand his perspective. Imagine that you are the young child who must cross a frozen lake in the autumn to reach your home. As you are walking across the lake alone, you fall suddenly and unexpectedly through the ice. Shocked and cold in the dark, you can't even cry for help. You struggle for your very life. Alone, helpless, and hopeless without the very air you need to breathe for life, you struggle to the surface. Locating the jagged opening, you drag yourself through to the air and crawl back into the woods from where you started. You decide to live there and never, ever to return onto the ice. As weeks go by and you see the others skating and cross the ice, you become clearer in your perception that the ice hates you alone. If you go onto it, you will die.

The ice represents the strength of the bond and your ability to trust. It was damaged by the break in your connection to someone you trusted. Some children have numerous bonding breaks throughout their young lives. This is like crashing them through the ice water each time they are moved, scarring and chilling their hearts against ever loving and bonding again."

Thomas, N - "When Love is Not Enough" (2005:15)

What is worse, is that you can see the illogical stupidity of it all in your own mind, but you can never change how you feel. Regardless, that fear will never leave you.

The Primal Wound

"For adoptees [in particular], the need to defend against the possibility of abandonment or other losses intrudes into almost every relationship, beginning with the adoptive [parents] and including their relationships to friends, lovers and even themselves." (Verrier 1993:59)

Attachment Theory has been at the forefront of psychological studies for decades. The concept of primal attachment, both prenatal and postnatal, has contributed greatly to both professional practise and practical parenthood all over the world. In recent years however, there has been a greater emphasis on what happens when attachment 'goes wrong'. Attachment Disorders are becoming more widely recognised as a social and psychological issue. Since the 1950s, Freud and Bowlby have contributed substantially to discussions on the need for secure attachment in the early years and the significant impact of what happens when loss or trauma occurs, derailing the attachment process. Much work has been added to discussions since then.

However, one place that this discussion is less prominent is within the faith community. Attachment disorders affect people greatly, from childhood right through to their adult lives, and will undoubtedly impact their faith development on many levels, as well as their ecclesial relationships. Those with insecure attachment will often experience severe mistrust, anxiety, emotional instability and relational difficulties. There can be no doubt that these difficulties will not only impact their human relationships but will transfer vertically to their relationship with God. Over the next 6 months I'll be doing more in-depth research in to the reality of attachment disorders and their impact upon children's daily lives and faith development.   From time to time I'll post some of my findings here for others to engage with.


My studies will include children in foster care, adoptees, street children and children who have experienced significant loss or trauma in the early years. If anyone has good resources they can share or something they feel might contribute to my research, please get in touch! This is a very specific subject that has very little published material and any help would be muchly appreciated!

Moses: Child At Risk

As a core part of my specialism in children's ministry this year I have been taking a module in the subject of 'Children at Risk'. It is without a doubt the area I am most passionate about and the area of ministry where I see myself working in the future. We have studied plenty of topics - including the tough ones; the basics of human development, children who have suffered trauma or grief, children of war and military families, children with HIV/Aids, street child, children who are victims of abuse and so on. These are not easy subjects to tackle on a daily basis but they are certainly a vital part of my training and I'm enjoying the opportunity to be more equipped to work in this area of ministry.

Sometimes it seems as if 'Children at Risk' is a new concept and something that certainly wasn't around in bible times. My Old and New Testament studies alike have revealed to me the very opposite. When thinking about children at risk in the bible there were plenty. The first few families in the bible are less than welcoming, stable environments for healthy child development (just look at Jacob and Esau or Joseph!). Hebrew children lived under the Egyptian oppression and lived through constant insecurity and instability in the exodus. Countless children lost parents and families in the epic battles and wars of Chronicles and Kings. The infant Jesus was under persecution from Herod. Young children lived in the Greco-Roman societies where cultic abuse was the norm. Children and their families were persecuted for their involvement in the early church - the list is quite endless. 'Children at Risk' is not a new phenomenon.

Perhaps one of the most distinct children at risk in the early Old Testament is Moses. Born a Hebrew boy under the threat of death from the Egyptian Pharaoh, Moses wasn't entitled to the freedom that other children were afforded. His mother kept him hidden for the first three months of his life. When she could hide him no more she put him in a basket of reeds and set him out on the river Nile with a prayer and a hope that he might survive. Health and safety? Don't think so! It is not unlike countless stories I have heard about women in the Middle East today hiding their children by all strange manner of means to avoid persecution, violence and abuse. By some miracle (and I use this word in it's fullest biblical sense) Moses survives and falls into the hands of the Egyptian Pharaoh's daughter. The irony of this story falls in two distinct places. Firstly Pharaoh had ordered that all Hebrew boys were to be killed upon birth by drowning in the river Nile - the very means by which Moses was rescued from death (Exodus 1:22). Secondly, Moses is rescued by the very family who decreed his death. Sometimes stories like this help me to understand a little more of God's sense of humour. Now, safe from imminent death our little Moses is nursed by an Egyptian midwife in the royal palace and grows up in what can only be assumed as luxury accommodation. It is at this point and through Exodus 2:11-13 that my curiosity of his situation really begins. What, if anything, was Moses told about his own circumstances? Did Pharaoh's daughter pretend that he was hers by birth? Did he know his roots and the story of his people? Where did he get his familial identity from? Perhaps if he knew the truth (which I suspect he did but can always only speculate) he would suffer from much of the difficulties faced by children in 21st century social care. It might have troubled him deeply to know that he was separated from his biological family. He may have struggled to trust his 'grandfather' the Pharaoh knowing what he might have suffered at his hand. Biblical narratives are at times a flat and objective and I often so wish that there was a way to find these things out. In Exodus 2:11-13 Moses defends a Hebrew man, 'one of his own people' (NIV). Did he know that his family origins were of Hebrew decent? Is this simply a factual detail from the writer? I'm not sure but I suspect that given the subsequent events he might have known. As a young man exiled to a distant place he marries in to a different family yet again. Did this help him to absolve any struggles he may have had? Did his own experiences impact the way he raised his own children? Undoubtedly. How could they not? When leading the war against Pharaoh in the name of 'his people' I wonder what went on in his mind. It is clear that God had called him to this task (Exodus 3) but did he struggle with family loyalty? He was essentially rebelling against the people who had raised him - his 'mother' and 'grandfather'. Did he struggle with the fact that he considered them his family? Would he feel guilty? Was he appeased by the fact that his loyalty lay with the Hebrews - 'his people'? By this time Moses was 80 years old. How much baggage had he accumulated in his life-time? More than most. When the passover happened and the angel of death wiped out each first-born of Pharaoh's people did he have any remorse for the fact that this would have been his own fate at the command of the Egyptians? Did he feel differently given that it was the command of the Lord? Another ironic turn in the story - Pharaoh's own command is reversed on to his own family. The biblical writers often make the stories sound incredibly factual or somehow easy to grasp but there is a great depth to each character that is often missed out - one which we can only look at with a speculative view.

There are so many questions I'd love to ask of what went on in the mind of Moses. Growing up I often thought of him along with Abraham as one of 'the old beardy guys' who led people on long journeys and failed to see any depth in his character as a human being. Today I'm looking at him through different eyes. I see in Moses a lot of the struggles and questions I've seen in the children I work with - a struggle with personal identity and family relationships. Moses adventure is so beautiful in that he returns to join the Hebrew people and liberate them from oppression, as one who could identity with their struggles.

So what can the bible offer children who's family circumstances are messy, complicated and difficult? I'm slowly learning that it gives us significant insight into the lives people who had similar struggles and the way in which God aided and used them as agents of change. It is easy to glance at the bible and assume that God called and used only the greatest of people with the strongest family history and those were clearly equipped for the tasks He presented. Even a short study of the story of Moses would reveal the opposite. His family situation was messy, complicated, difficult. He faced a real struggle with personal identity. He wasn't even able to speak for himself at critical moments - relying on Aaron who had a greater gift of speech. Many children today who are fostered, adopted, live on the street or have 'complicated' families struggle with their own identity and self worth. It can be difficult for them to believe that God has any purpose or use for them. It seems to them impossible that they are capable of serving in the Kingdom of God. I believe that for many children the story of Moses offers a hope and reassurance that God does not call those who are equipped but he equips those whom he has called. He does not wait for the perfect CV, a tidy family background or people who 'know who they are'. He takes the broken, the weary, the disadvantaged and the complicated, trading their piles of ashes for future glory. This is the God I know.

And the other six days?

Very often when I tell people I'm going in to full time ministry, or more specifically Children's Ministry, I receive that irritating response experienced by most ministers:


"I see... so what will you do the other six days of the week?"

Sigh. "Give me grace, Lord, give me grace that I might not hit a fellow human being." I jest. (But it is tempting.) So, what exactly will I fill my time with when I leave college?

The specifics I'm not yet sure of but the questions in recent classes have given me a clue as to the kind of work I want to be involved in. This semester I'm taking two Children's Ministry modules: "Children and Church" and "Children at Risk". Both are incredibly challenging classes, as not only the theory is so complex but it's implications for practice are even more so. Here are just a few of the questions we've been considering in the last week or so:



What are the immediate and long-term losses suffered by children in crisis (ie. those who have experience neglect, abuse, war, violence, trauma) and how does this affect their social, emotional, physical, spiritual and cognitive development?

How should the Church respond to these losses and intervene in the cycle of violence?

What hope does the Gospel have to offer children who are suffering?


Every week we read case studies of children who are involved in militant warfare; who suffer abuse or neglect at the hands of their carers; who are lost in illegal immigrations; who are separated from their families; who are exploited by adults for economic benefits; whose lives are in imminent danger from natural disaster; who are feeling so pressured by the demands of life that death seems an easier option. This is not an uplifting class but it is in every way a realistic and helpful one.


It is incredibly challenging and difficult stuff. In my current work situation with children in the East End of Glasgow I'm working alongside children who have experience loss, trauma, neglect, abuse and violence. It is not easy. What can I offer them in the way of help? What can I offer them in the way of hope? What does it mean to have compassion for these children? What would Jesus do to help these children? There are no easy answers - there are more difficult questions than easy answers. How do I remain strong in my faith in light of what these children are going through? How do I approach God and ask him "WHY?".


Though it is difficult ,it is good theoretical and emotional preparation for what I may face in my trip to Brazil this summer. I'm going out with a team from the church to visit our missionary partners who work in the favelas of Sao Paulo. There we'll help to do some building work on a house that will be used to shelter the children who live on the street or in abusive home situations. We'll go out to visit the children living on the streets of the city and build up relationships with them. We'll encourage the local churches to reach out and offer their help and support to these children in crisis. It's going to be tough stuff but definitly worth the challenge.


Children's ministry can be fun - but it's not always. These are the kind of things I know I'll be facing in my future ministry. It will be my job to offer help and hope to children who are at risk or in crisis. So, what will I do the other six days of the week?


Reach Out. Build Up. Persevere. Pray.


Lamentations 2:19 (NIV) "Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the live of your children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street."

Growing. Learning. Teaching.

This week will be my first teaching gig at my placement church and the first time exclusively teaching and leading adults in a ministry context. Am I terrified? Yes. Am I excited? Even more so.

The topic of the seminar is ''Kids Behaving Badly - Discipline in Children and Youth Ministry''. For many people even the title provokes strong reaction. Many assume it's a pet subject because of my background in teaching. Many see it as making a big deal out of something pretty simple. However, the workshop aims to be much more than just a 'how to' session. The first part consists of looking objectively and biblically at discipline, what it actually is and the neccessity of it. I think it is vital for people to understand that discipline is far beyond just making kids do what they're told. It's a means for making our ministry more effective. It's a process for discipling them to take responsibility for themselves and others. It's an opportunity to engage in meaningful discussion about biblical behaviour. It's a gateway to deeper and better relationships. It's a tool for understanding those in our care and the issues that are affecting them. It is one way in which we love them and express our concern for them. It's a chance to get to know what's really going on in their hearts, minds and souls.

Discipline is so much more than just kids behaving badly.

Every Blessing

Well, since my last post what can I say... things just keep on getting better!


This weekend has been just brilliant. I had a suprise visit from my best friend who was home on study leave. I love the spontanious opportunities to catch up and just hang out together - makes me realise how few and far between such occassions can be. Friday night I was back at FNL as usual and was helping to put together the epic event that will be "FNL's Got Talent." Rebekah and I were putting the kids through their paces and checking the progress of each act. One group of girls in particular just blew us away with their efforts. They dance and cheerlead together and are best friends both in and out of school. Every week these girls turn up with a themed outfit of some variety - usually neon rave and on occassion their PJs! The girls came to us before the rehearsal with some drama about having had a fall-out and some of the group members weren't speaking. They agreed to rehearse anyway. I was just in awe of their efforts and the teamwork they put in despite the fact that they weren't on speaking terms. I had to sit the girls down and just tell them what a special friendship they had going on and encouraged them not to waste that. Thankfully they saw my point and made up. I realised how much I love the kids at FNL and I'm so grateful to be part of the ministry there.



Saturday - what an adventure!

I was at work 11am-8pm and it was a tough shift cause the rugby was on. However, at 11pm that night I set off to help on the launch of the new ICC Buddies Bus. The college recently aquired a new bus. Thanks to the extreme hard work and sheer determination of a few dedicated people it was completely transformed. A few weeks ago I went along to help with some on-board painting and decorating and it was great to see the work in progress. Saturday night was the launch of the new bus and the first time in over 7 months the bus ministry had been on the street. What a night! We had a huge response and interest from people in the streets and between 12:30-4:30am the bus was full of clubbers, rugby boys and people just out for the night. I met some brilliant people and God just blessed us by giving us a noticeable and welcomed presence in Sauchihall St. We teamed up with the Street Pastors, giving them somewhere to rest for a while and were supported by the patroling police officers. The launch night was so successful and I know it meant so much to those who have been putting so much work in to making it happen.




Sunday - needless to say after getting home at 5am I slept in quite a bit but in the evening I set off for my friend's sister's Baptism. I had really wanted to go but couldn't because I was on band duty at church with no-one to cover. With only 10 minutes to spare before rehearsals someone stepped in to cover me and I was able to go. It was a really special night - not just because two people I knew were getting baptised but because I could see God at work in a much bigger picture in the lives of their families and friends. I just felt so blessed to be able to witness that and share in the experience.





And finally... I've got a flat! I went with my parents to view a few flats last week and they put an offer in on a top floor flat just behind the college. Today we found out our offer has been acceppted! We still need to do all the formal paperwork and so forth but it's pretty much ours! I feel like God has just blessed me constantly for the past few months and it seems to be a confirmation that I trusted Him and made the right decision in moving to ICC. My leap of faith has been well and truly rewarded.

So...

What's been happening?

Quite a lot since I last posted. Personal circumstances and the pressure of exams squeezed out any time for reflecting here. Life at ICC was daunting at first, both socially and academically but eventually I settled in. I had my first four modules; Introduction to Old Testament, Christian Discipleship, Church History and Children, Family & Society. Each module was interesting; I learned more from some than others but even in a few months my faith, theology and perceptions have been significantly challenged. I'm delighted to say I've discovered that I love the old testament - it's so rich, challenging and inspiring all at once. I've considered my own spiritual disciplines and how I exercise my own faith and relationship with God and how I disciple others. Huge lessons were learned there - particularly lessons of integrity and honesty in dealing with others, learning to embrace and accept our differences in the way we pray, live and worship. I've learned a little more of the history of the church, how we got to where we are today and how to seperate tradition from traditionalism. It's good to know that even though the church today is a bit of mess... well... really it's always been a bit of a mess and it seems like we'll just never have the answers or get it right. Even the church fathers couldn't agree on everything! Looking at children, families and society has challenged the ideas that I take for granted of what family should be and how families should function. Families are messy... and there's no getting around it! The modules I've started this term are even more interesting and challenging; An Introduction to the New Testament, Explore Christian Beliefs/Doctrine, The Bible & Mission and The Bible & Ethics - all of which have inspired and challenged me already. In short... I'm loving it!





I've recently become involved in a local project which mentors young people age 14-25 through volunteering. I've taken on the responsibility of being a mentor and made a commitment to be the project convenor for the next year. So... lots of challenges to be faced there but I'm so excited and inspired about helping this project move forward and seeing it be developed to it's full potential. Working for an entirely secular organisation will be a good challenge to me personally too.

Today I found out I've been accepted on to the team of an SU Motiv8 Urban camp for this easter - something I'm really excited about! Thankfully my best friend Emma is coming with me. It'll be a challenging week for us both and it will be good to have each other there to share in the joys and struggles of the week.

That's about it... other things going at the moment including searching for a flat with two fabulous girls from college. The girls at college have been an absolute blessing. Over the Christmas holidays we had a great day out at Loch Lomond and it made me so thankful to have such a great group of friends there despite my initial fears I'd have none at all! I've also booked a holiday to Milan with four of my good friends - a much deserved rest I think!

Well that's about me... hopefully I'll get back in to my theological and reflective posting when time permits!

A Post-Consumerist Age

We had a brilliant lecture today from a guy involved in 'indigenous church planting' amongst other things, as part of our discipleship lectures. We covered a whole range of topics but the one that most caught my attention was the subject of consumerism and discipleship. There was a lot of discussion about how we deal with the subject, the role of material possessions in our life and so on. This, in light of the current economic situation, brought out some good discussion points about the kind of message we as Christians should be sharing. It got me thinking. We talk a lot about poster-modernisation and post-Christendom and it made me wonder... are we heading for a time of post-consumerism? Could there ever be such a thing? Is this the time for us as Christians to pro-actively encourage those around us to reconsider our obsession with the consumerist culture we've come to depend on? Do we in fact have a responsibility to bring a message of stability, security and hope to the western world which is currently so wrapped up in the controlling tide of the economy?

Not sure quite how I feel yet or what I really think. Will need to look deeper in to the subject but it definitely sounds like something worth thinking about...

I Am

"I am a minister. I minister to the largest mission field in the world. I minister to children. My calling is sure. My challenge is big. My vision is clear. My desire is strong. My influence is eternal. My impact is critical. My values are solid. My faith is tough. My mission is urgent. My purpose is unmistakable. My direction is forward. My heart is genuine. My strength is supernatural. My reward is promised. And my God is real.

In a world of cynicism, I offer hope. In a world of confusion, I offer truth. In a world of immorality, I offer values. In a world of neglect, I offer attention. In a world of abuse, I offer safety. In a world of ridicule, I offer affirmation. In a world of division, I offer reconciliation. In a world of bitterness, I offer forgiveness. In a world of sin, I offer salvation. In a world of hate, I offer God’s love. I refuse to be dismayed, disengaged, disgruntled, discouraged or distracted. Neither will I look back, stand back, fall back, go back or sit back.

I do not need applause, flattery, adulation, prestige, stature or veneration. I do not have time for business as usual, mediocre standards, small thinking, outdated methods, normal expectations, average results, ordinary ideas, petty disputes or low vision. I will not give up, give in, bail out, lie down, turn over, quit or surrender. I will pray when things look bad. I will pray when things look good. I will move forward when others stand still. I will trust God when obstacles arise. I will work when the task is overwhelming. I will get up when I fall down.

My calling is to reach boys and girls for God. It is too serious to be taken lightly, too urgent to be postponed, too vital to be ignored, too relevant to be overlooked, too significant to be trivialized, too eternal to be fleeting and too passionate to be quenched. I know my mission. I know my challenge. I also know my limitations, my weaknesses, my fears and my problems. And I know my God. Let others get the praise. Let the church get the blessing. Let God get the glory. I am a minister. I minister to children. This is who I am. This is what I do."

(Roger Fields)

Where is God on Monday?

Our church recently changed the format of the evening services. Instead of having a 'one sermon fits all' approach we have experimented with 'Mosaic'. Each night when it comes to the time of teaching there are three seminars happening at the same time. Each person chooses which they would rather go to. Currently we have, "A Potted History of the Church", "Issues in Contemporary World Mission" and "Where is God on Monday?". Guess which one I went to...

So, where is God on Monday? Good question. Through these sessions our group has explored the theology of work; the way the church supports its members in their day-jobs, the emphasis and importance placed on our employment as a mission field, the theological place and value of work and the ethical questions raised by Christians in the work place. So far this has proved most helpful and useful as I'm currently exploring the ethics of my own work in the pub. Although there are two more sessions to go, I thought I'd post my reflections thus far.

Church and the work place: Statistically a very low percentage of Christians say that their church supports them in their work (meaning their employment or 'day job') and that they have never heard any specific teaching devoted to faith in the work place. This is an issue which needs to be tackled, as we spend a large proportion of our waking hours (sometimes 12 hours a day or more) at our work. It is imperative that the church examines it's priorities where the employment of its members are concerned. Is the work they do in the church on a voluntary basis any more important than what they do every other day of the week? Do we see the potential and importance of our work as our mission field? I suspect that often we don't. I also suspect that for most Christians, their work place is where they have the greatest contact with people of no or other faith. Why is it then that we spend the weekend fishing in puddles when every day we work in a pond? That is; why do we seem to focus our attention on the limited amount of time we spend working in our church when we spend a proportionately larger length of time in our work place? We need to step up to the challenge of witness in the work place and this means that churches need to be fully supportive and aware of what this requires. How do we support one another in fellowship concerning our work?

The theology of work: A very important distinction made in the last seminar was that of the difference between work and toil. 'Work' by its very nature requires action and effort but it can also be enjoyable. God created us to work (Genesis 1:27-28 ... Genesis 2:15) However, toil is a different issue. It a the mundane, difficult, unenjoyable aspect of working. I have had a few part time jobs which to me were simply toil. I did it because I had to, I worked without enthusiasm or care and every day I looked forward to 5pm. However, my current job I still consider as 'work' but it is work that I enjoy. Even though I get tired and occasionally have a bad or stressful shift, I'm happy to be there and happy to work. We all have to work, but it doesn't always have to be toil. Another important biblical principle is that of rest. The pace of our society is getting increasingly faster as people get busier, deadlines get shorter, expectations get higher and people are beginning to burn out. God gave us the principle of rest and sets His own example for a reason. We need it.(Genesis 2:2-3 ... Exodus 20:8-11... Leviticus 23:3) This is a lesson which has resonated with me several times since the summer. I am one of these people who likes to be doing things, who likes to see my day filled with productive things to do. Sometimes I take on too much and don't leave enough time for rest. This, I have discovered, brings no merit. We get too tired or unwell to do our work properly and we eventually become miserable. Rest is important.

I found my visit to Italy a few years ago an interesting culture shock. At lunch time everything shuts down and people have a good few hours rest. They meet their families and friends for a long and social lunch or go down to the beach for a swim. They rest. I also noticed that, minus one McDonalds, there was no fast food in the town. There were no pre-packaged sandwiches or salads, no quick-fix meals. Why would they need it? They took time to rest and eat. I think they have the right idea. God gave us rest for a reason.

Ethical Issues: This was only touched on briefly in the last session and will be explored in more depth on Sunday. One ethical issue relates to the above point - should we work on a Sunday? Or even if we have to work on a Sunday should we ensure that we have at least one day every single week that devoted to personal or family time? I think so. Someone also raised a valid point about Christians setting an example of a balanced working life which sometimes might mean that yes, we refuse to do so many hours of over-time so that we can see our families or that we really do leave the office at 5pm because we have done a days work.

Another issue is the divide between serving our boss and serving God. The bible instructs us to work for our boss as though working for God - doing our best, being respectful and following given instructions with care. (Ephesians 6:5-9) But what happens when our employer puts us in a compromising situation or puts our integrity at stake? Where should our priority in work be - expanding our business or expanding the Kingdom? On another note there is the issue of suitable work field for Christians. This one I found particularly interesting as people followed two specific lines of thought. One involved working in finance. Is it wrong to make copious amounts of money? I don't think so although I believe it's how that money is used that is of importance. There was some question over people working in finance and their responsibilities. In this time of financial and economic unrest how should Christians in such jobs respond? Is there anything they can do to promote more ethical working in their sector? There was also questions over Christians working in pubs. Haha - that got my attention. Questions such as, "Is it ethical for Christians to be selling alcohol in a nation with such a high level of alcohol addiction and abuse?" were asked and a few more besides. They are right, there are many issues in my work I've had to consider and to me it's still an unstable terrain. I'm not quite sure where my principles rest with my various responsibilities. Even working on a Sunday is a new thing, one I've not had to do before, and I'm currently working out my position on this. I have my thoughts which I may share at another time. There are some jobs which will be seen as unethical but if we feel strongly that it's where we are called to be can we ignore that? There are many people who have given up their employment on the basis that it is to compromising to their faith to continute, and well done to them. For others it's not so easy. Some people have very little choice over where they work, they simply have to get a job. How do we decide which careers are ethically, morally and theologically acceptable. How do we work out orthopraxy in relation to our beliefs?

Questions, questions, questions. Perhaps I shall soon have some answers.

Update: Further to the discussion on Sunday I've been asked to be part of a question panel in the next session, allowing people to ask questions about my work; how I wrestle with the theological, ethical and moral issues surround the nature of what I do. I'm looking forward to it because it will certainly get me thinking and pose more questions that I may not have thought about already.

Flash

I thought I'd throw in a general update on things at the moment. I've not had much time to sit and reflect on the past couple of weeks as it's gone in a flash and I still don't know what's happening! So here's a general overview:

ICC - I started last Tuesday at the International Christian College and already I'm feeling quite at home. Both the staff and students are incredibly friendly and it's not full of 'hippy hoodie Christians' which was my initial fear. The past week however has been overshadowed by the illness and death of beloved Vice Principle Ted Herbert. Although I knew him only from a distance I knew from being in college only a day that he was the most loved and respected man, known for his integrity, compassion and open-door policy of never turning anybody away. Such a man is a living testament to love and compassion of Jesus Christ even when he is no longer here. This aside, college life has begun positively and I'm looking forward to settling in and getting down to work.

KBC - Life at my home church is going well. Things are settling down for a new term and I'm enjoying being back to my regular services. I was rarely at church over the summer just through working, being away or just sheer exhaustion. I must admit it's good to be back. Last week I was even back with a different role - taking the sermon! The sermon was split in to two parts. Fellow-student Keith did the first part, talking about how God builds our patience through prayer, and I did the second part, talking about how God helps us to understand His will through prayer. It was pretty nerve-wracking and I'll admit I wasn't as prepared as I could have been (our lovely DG is not so generous with pre-warning or forward planning!). Still, all went well and the message was well received. I had some good conversations and positive feedback afterwards.

Other stuff - I left my job at the pharmacy and worked my last ever shift. I'll admit I gladly rejoiced. I'll miss the people but certainly not the job. It will be so nice to have my Saturdays back! Work at the pub is going well. Last night was the staff night out which was good fun and although I was pretty tired I made it out till about 2am. It was good to just to socialise with people and get to know a bit more about them. There's a diverse range of personalities on the team and somehow that's what makes it such a good group for me. I genuinely love them and pray for them often. I also believe that many an adult would be impressed at the way a group of 18 to 20-somethings can efficiently run a fairly big operation every day. It's not easy but I'm always impressed and encouraged by the team work and capability shown on every shift.

Two weeks ago I started back at Friday Night Live. This was the 'week on' where we were running the new format of having pods (workshops of different varieties) and The Big Show (similar to the Friday Night Project??) which I co-host. It was pretty crazy! There are loads of new, younger kids and it's going to be a case of settling them in and getting them used to keeping within the rules which at the moment they seem quite adamant to test. The joys! Still, I feel it's going to be a good and productive year at FNL.

Friday and Saturday this weekend I'll be attending the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit which our church is hosting. I'll no doubt be back on here soon with further reflections from that.

That's me at the moment... Life is full. Life is different. Life is good.

Religion vs Relationship

It's a peculiar thing - telling people that you're going in to or are involved in Christian ministry. It can be awkward - very awkward. You never know how people will react. Sometimes I find it easier to have the, "I'm adopted, I've been in at least 6 foster homes, I don't know my birth parents and my siblings are in jail for murder..." conversation first. I haven't even begun my studies at ICC but sharing my plans for the next four years has provoked some interesting reactions. One reaction I have noticed most recently is the 'automatic stance' - that is, where people feel the need to immediately spell out their position in the faith spectrum, whether atheist, agnostic or other, and make quite clear their beliefs. Why is this? Perhaps it's a defence; a way of saying, "Don't try and convert me, I've made up my mind!". Perhaps it's an invitation or even a challenge; "Well I know what I think. What have you got to offer?". Whatever the motive, it's interesting. I rarely say much in such encounters, particularly when a person is new or unfamiliar to me. More often than not they seem to expect a reaction, a counter argument or perhaps a submission - an indication that I will not pursue it further. My response is neither. Instead, I listen... then I move on. To some it may appear as submission or even a lack of theological grounding to contest their viewpoint. In some cases this is certainly true. I am not foolish enough to take on arguments to which I cannot present a valid contribution. However, even where I feel able I rarely pitch in on these initial exchanges other than to ask a question or two. Why? Well, most recently it's because the viewpoints I've been presented with surround the issue of Christianity as an organised religion. In particular there is strong feeling about the church; the power of the global church and it's misuse, the unnecessary traditions, the irrelevance of the bible and the attitude of those in ministry. Very often if I dig deeper I find a significant history - people who used to go to church (or were dragged there), people who have been affected negatively by the church and people who altogether find little relevance in what they know of Christianity.

However, what I'm slowly calling in to question is this: Are people judging Christianity as an 'organised religion' or as an authentic relationship? Do they separate the issue of the church / the organisation of Christianity on a global scale, and the fact that Christianity is, according to the gospel, a living and authentic relationship between each individual and God. In many cases, I suspect not. It is for this reason that I rarely engage in any initial discussion about the organisation of the church, the authority of the bible or the impact of Christianity world-wide. If my understanding of the Christian faith is correct (and I am always willing to be corrected), it stems down to the individual. It is about being saved by grace through faith - faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, His defeat of death and the gift of grace which is an open invitation from God to everyone. It is the acceptance of this invitation, resulting in an authentic relationship with God. It is not about religion: it is about relationship.

When people have made up their mind about Christianity as an organised religion, sometimes no constructive debate, historical evidence or academic reasoning will change their views. They may not ever understand Christians or why people follow 'Christianity as a religion' until they have seen a demonstrative example of this relationship, between the individual and God, lived out. Therefor, in an attempt to witness I do not see it as my place to argue them down and change their views on the religion of Christianity and the relevance of the church. There is a time and a place for those conversations. I see it as my job to be an example of genuine faith to help them understand the gift of grace. I'm no saint. Very often I will fail to live up to the example I hope to set. But I will try - try to demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ and the God's gift of grace through the way I live.

Perhaps then I will engage in conversation - not about my religion but about my relationship.

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Riots

Browsing the news headlines again today I came across this article. It caught my attention because the reported incident took place not far from my home town. Admittedly I don't know much about the St Marys Kenmure Centre and had to to a little further research. As with my previous entry this article threw me more questions than answers. My first question would perhaps be why the young people were so keen to hurt and destroy the facilities which are supposed to offer them a better, more secure way of life and the people who are volunteering to help and support them? I understand that the young people who are placed in the centre have emotional and behavioural issues which will be the main factor playing a part in such incidents - these are not just your average teenagers. Personally, I can't imagine what life must be like for them. It saddens me to think of young people living their life in such detention - no matter how good the facilities it's still not a 'normal' life however much the centre claims to provide. What makes me even more curious is that those involved in the riot have been sentenced to four years detention. For young people already living in care centres, how will detention contribute to the progress they are supposed to be making? Will it strengthen or destroy the work already done by volunteers there? I can't make too much comment on the issue as my own experiences are different I know very little about the children's panel and related systems but I would like to know more about it.

However, apart from calling out for my compassion articles of this nature also present a real challenge to the church. What are we doing to help young people like this in our area? One of our own church ministries, FNL, takes in a lot of kids from the local area each with their own history and certainly some of them are challenging. I love being involved in this ministry because we provide safety, security, activity and a certain inclusiveness to our local young people. I do think that such an outreach can be extended. Does our local council know the kind of support that we provide? If they did would they make better use of it? Can we extend our ministry from bringing young people in, to taking our volunteers out and extending our mission to places like St Marys? Could the local church make better links between themselves and council projects across the country?

I know great work is already being done - I always like to challenge us to do more.

The Great Commission is the greatest challenge to Christians to show the love of Jesus Christ in this world. If we fail to reach out beyond our own doors are we rising to that challenge?

Headlines

While browsing the BBC news pages I came across this article . It was this caption that took my notice: "So many parents have been chasing university places for their children that the admissions system is now letting parents act as their agents." My instant reaction was, "Please tell me you are joking..." but it appears to be true.
So, from this article I gather that when young people enter in to the university admission systems they can 'opt to' choose a parent or guardian to be their 'agent' - someone who will deal with the majority of the admission process including sitting in on the actual interview. For children whose lives are already governed by pushing parents who have already decided what they would like their children to do, can you imagine anything worse? It may be optional but how much option do they really get? I know several people whose parents pressurised them in to doing medicine or law when it quite clearly was not what they themselves would have preferred to do. Latterly, such people have left their degree with much anguish and disappointment caused to their parents. The choice of degree or further education or even an alternative option, is very much the choice of the young person and not their parent. Why, therefor, should parents be allowed a greater degree of input than is already in place?

I understand from a parent's point of view, as discussed at the end of the article, that they do not want to simply hand over cheques and start renting flats when they have no idea or little understanding as to what it's all going towards. I understand that this choice for a parental agent is 'optional' (though somehow that thought makes me laugh...). However, the responsibility lies with the young person to inform their parents sufficiently as to what is going on and the parents are quite entitled to say 'no' to paying out if they feel they are insufficiently informed. Is this bid for greater parental access and input going to replace the need for family communication or take away the independence which young people feel they have finally been granted? Could it be that roles are reversed and that in turn, the young people will be the ones left out?

Independence is a primary concern for me but to educationalists there is also a secondary concern as noted in the article. Is this new parental control going to blur the professional line between school and higher education? Tutors and university faculties have a professional relationship with their students much like an employer and employee. Few employers would dream of phoning to consult an employees mother over professional issues, surely? Why then are those in higher education so keen to allow it? Does it allow the lazier students to hand over the their responsibilities and have someone else to the work for for them? Does it hinder those who see university as a step towards independence and a step away from parental control? How are university faculties going to 'manage' this system and ensure that the students really have actually opted for a parent to be involved rather than being pushed? There may be benefits to this system but it seems to be the drawbacks and need for further questions that immediately stand out to me.

Your thoughts?

Bars and Beer

For the past three weeks now I have been working in my local pub. It's been a bit of a change from working in the pharmacy but a much needed one. This change of course brings all the usual uncertainties of any new job - a new workplace, new skills, new managers and staff and an altogether very different atmosphere. So far I've enjoyed it. As always I'm still learning the tricks of the trade but the staff team have been exceptionally helpful and understanding as I make mistakes and learn along the way. It's definitely been a change for the better.

Of course, as could be expected there has been the issue of being a witness in a new workplace as well. As far as I know I'm the only Christian on the team and it didn't take long for people to work it out. Asking for Sundays off was probably the first give-away, haha. I make no effort to hide it but I am always conscious of people's reactions and like to get to know people before having 'that conversation' to avoid being labelled from the offset. Interestingly, when it's come up in discussion the usual reactions are questions about my permissible activities; "Do you drink?" and "Are you celibate?" being amongst the most frequent. Some are curious and others complacent but so far all have been quite accepting. It does make me wonder about people's preconceptions of Christians and Christianity. Do they see it as a religion of "Dos and Don'ts" ? Do they see Christians as "the ones that do..." and "the ones that don't..."? So far most of the questions I've been asked have been very much along this line. Over time I'd like to find out what people think about Christianity from an outside perspective. Until then, I'm enjoying the company and even the work. Long may it continue.

We Are Together

I recently watched the docu-film on channel four "We Are Together" - the story of the Children of Agape. It was crafted sensitively and beautifully and refrained from becoming a typical Oxfam-esque appeal to the wealthy nations. The film followed the lives of the children at Agape - an orphanage in South Africa.

"Agape was founded by a lady called Gogo "Grandma" Zodwa. She was working as an HIV counselor and found that many of the people she was counseling expressed deep concern about what would happen to their children when they were no longer around. So Zodwa established Agape to look after these children. Agape has had a tumultuous journey, but under Zodwa’s loving guidance it continues to grow stronger. Agape is a Greek word meaning “unconditional love”, which is exactly what the children at Agape receive." (http://wearetogether.org/children/)


Grandma Zodwa noted that she wanted to show these children the unconditional love of God that everyone deserves. This was not a story of destitution and lives torn apart, but a quiet observation of orphaned children getting on with life as they know it. The hope-inspiring twist to this tale is the music. Singing, as naturally as breathing, takes place morning, noon and night in the orphanage. The children formed a choir and together they express their love, hope, dreams and sorrow through the songs they sing. They have no written music, no instruments and no accompaniment. They simply sing - and they are fabulous. The man who conducts the children said that, "We cannot all speak at once but we can all sing." How true.

It is this gift of music that has provided significant funding and hope for Agape. The orphanage was destroyed in a fire and the centre lost everything it had. However, the children were invited to perform in New York with Alecia Keys and they recorded an album. I thought that perhaps given this opportunity they would get a big band and make their album a stunning, technical, musical masterpiece. Thankfully they recorded only their voices, keeping the album as pure and true as the gift they have been given. The money from this was used to raise a new centre which could house even more children than before. It was a truly moving piece. There was no narration, special effects, fancy camera work or significant bias. The cameras merely recorded and reflected real life. I would encourage anybody to download some of their music from iTunes or buy it online. Watch the DVD and you will understand it even better. In the title track from the album, "We Are Together" the children sing, "We are together, we are family." This is what Agape provides along with unconditional love - a family.

Thankyou Lord for the gift of music and the hope that it brings.

Mission Field

I have recently returned from my Stepout Mission in the infamous Bo'Ness. It was lovely to be back. It's another place I can consider 'home'. I struggled a bit as I had to work at the pharmacy on the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, therefor I had to drive there and back late at night every day. It got quite tiring and I struggled having missed out on all the kids club work. None-the-less I had a fabulous time when I was there. Half of the team were completely new to me and I had the opportunity to get to know some interesting people. I was reunited with the usual suspects from the church - all of whom are absolutely treasures and so hospitable you wouldn't believe. So here's a basic run down of the week...
On the Sunday evening the team attended the church service and basically introduced ourselves and laid out our plans for the week. We invited anyone who was interested to come along and help or to simply visit and observe. At the end of the service the minister led a time of hands-on prayer for the team. It was a truly moving moment as individuals from the church were united in prayer and poured out compassion and support for the week ahead. I felt so privileged to be among such Godly people. After the service the work began.

Throughout the week we had a total of 37 kids attending the RockStar club in the morning. A lot of these were from families who have no other contact with the church. There were plenty of games, stories, activities and memory verses. One of the crafts involved using the little round boxes that package Dairylea Cheese. Cindy had been collecting them for some time but still hadn't managed to get enough. I phoned the manager at Asda in Grangemouth, flirted precariously and managed to score another boxes for free. God is good. The kids had a fabulous time and although I only got to visit the club on the first and last day I saw a marked difference. The children were happy, safe, secure and very much enjoying their time spent in the church. God bless them. A lot of the boys between P5-7 turned up in the afternoons and evenings just wanting to hang out with us and play football. We felt really blessed that they genuinely wanted to be there. One young, non-church-related boy made a commitment to Christ on the last day. I think he was about 10 years old. It was a really special moment for us all.

Every evening I helped at the youth cafe. It was a very chilled out set up - music, board games, the Wii , football and various other activities. All week the centre was quiet with maybe only 4-6 youth turning up at any one time. However, throughout the week, as testimonies were told, questions were asked and conversations were had. Two girls made a quiet, conscious commitment to follow Christ. There was no dramatic alter-call and no sudden transformations of the crows; simply two young people carefully considering the effect of having Christ as their king and accepting freely the grace of God.

On the Friday evening we had a BBQ for all the children, parents and youth who had been in contact with us throughout the week. We invited and encouraged them all week to attend and arranged catering for about 100 people in the hope that they would all come. We had a fabulous turn out. There were parents and kids galore. We had good weather and were able to use all our outdoor space. At one point I stopped and stood back, looking out at what was going on. I liked what I saw. There were kids playing football on the grass. There were children drawing with chalk on the concrete. There were parents playing games with their family and just enjoying their children for what they were. I nearly started crying as I looked out and just saw families and community alike being drawn together simply because the church had given them the space and the freedom. Moments like that make it all worth it.

Cindy asked me to give my testimony or the 'story of my life' as I like to call it. I readily agree to these things but when the time came I was quite nervous because the room was full and I suddenly wondered what all these non-churched, non-christian parents would think of it all. I just prayed that I wouldn't ramble. It seemed to go well. I had some really good conversations with parents after that and with a couple of church members too. On the Sunday morning one of the ladies who had been there came and had a long chat with me about 'the story of my life' and asked if I would considering speaking to the social work students at Napier about it. I said I'd be glad to and whether or not this will come to fruition it's good to know that the opportunity is there. All the talking about where I've come from and where I'm going makes me stop and marvel at how God's hand has been in my life from the very beginning. Before I was even old enough to stand or speak He was watching over me and shaping the path that my life could take if I would only choose to follow it. I thank Him whole-heartedly that I made the right decision. He has blessed me more than I can ask or imagine.

It was a great week and I learned so much and saw so much of God of work. I would like to extend a real heart-felt thanks for the people of Bo'Ness Baptist - for their enthusiastic involvement and prayerful support. May God bless them.

The Prayer Room and Other Stories

Well, camp ended a few weeks ago but it's taken me some time to gather my thoughts on the week. I was extremely ill the week after camp and it took a while to recover. I had a great but stressful week. I thought I was only getting four campers in my group but arrived to find that I had eight. However, to balance out this little surprise I also found that I was in a leaders dorm with my best friend Emma and my trainee Sarah - what a blessing! God is good. Lynn and I went through two days early to begin working on the prayer room. The plan was to get the four gazebos up to begin with and then start all the walls and decorations. However, it took us over two hours to get two gazebos up and we were both almost in tears after the third one simply refused to fit together. We went home closer to midnight than we had intended feeling somewhat defeated. Many a desperate prayer was uttered before we headed up to try again the next night. God gave Lynn a brainwave for measuring the gazebo poles and lo and behold - the last two were up in a matter of minutes! We were so relieved. Several hours and lots of material later the room was up and ready. I have to say it looked fab and I was so excited to see what God was going to do there. If you want to know more about what was in the prayer room just let me know and I'll explain it!





Over the week the kids went in to the prayer room alone or with friends and spend time exploring, looking, watching, thinking, reflecting, praying, creating, wailing, crying, learning and praying. Each day there were new things up on the walls - all honest outpouring of what was going on in their heads, hearts and lives. A couple of days I went in to spend some time with God and it was so fulfilling. With all the worship to organise I got a bit stressed out and it was so good to have a little corner of quiet where I could rest with God and seek His council. The room had that feeling that one cannot readily describe but the room felt covered in prayer and filled with the spirit. It was a place for healing, for listening, for learning. Several times I was brought to tears just looking at the evidence of prayer and praise that had been happening throughout the week. All our effort was truly worth it and more.





Apart from the prayer room many good times were had at camp. The campers were responsive to the worship and praise party on the Friday night just blew my mind. Leading the whole thing was truly exhausting and I had to keep it together and hold in a lot of emotion. I could see lives changing, God working and the spirit moving. The kids worshipped with true abandon and the commitments made were a testimony of God's grace and love sweeping through their lives. These times always serve to remind me of what a privilege it is to be involved in the work of SU because I get a glimpse of God at work and am reminded every time of the way in which Christ loves us. It was hard work - but oh so worth it. I want to say a huge thankyou to all those on the team who made it such a special week for me. You know who you are. =)

A day in the life...

I've run out of time and steam for the blog at the moment. Life's business is taking over but I thought I'd post a general update until I have any form of intelligible thoughts to share.

I have several projects going on at the moment which are taking up most of my time. First and foremost I've been helping to put together a youth programme for the volunteers who are going out a Stepout Mission with the Baptist Union this year. This is the first year there has been material provided for the youth events as normally it's just given for the children's work. It's been a long and difficult process trying to think of things that would connect with young people from across the spectrum - all ages and stages, churched and unchurched, urban, suburban and country kids! The pack is almost finished and I'm not as pleased with my work as I could have been but hopefully it will serve to inspire the teams to put it to creative use. At the training weekend on Friday I led a couple of activities from the pack as exemplars. I had anticipated there would be about 25 people there but I think there was around 45! Still, it seemed to go well.

As well as the Stepout stuff I'm preparing for camp at LM - my favourite week of the year! This year we're incorporating a prayer room - inspired by the one we had at church recently. It's been a bit of extra work and I'm having to go up a couple of days early but I'm so glad it'll be available. It's been a good chance to let out some of my creativity and share good times with close friends. I've also been asked to co-ordinate the worship for the week so I'm trying to ensure that those who volunteered all get a chance to play, that those doing the talks get to make the arrangements they need and that rehearsal times co-ordinate with all the other rotas. It's a work in progress! Still - I'm very much looking forward to camp and I anticipate that I'll see great things happen. It's always a privilege to be involved and I've never been at a camp where God didn't show up in both subtle and obvious ways. It will be most interesting to see what the prayer room will add to the week. Watch this space!